bein aimy

lifestyle guru-wannabe, a fierce woman who is after her dreams – living it out, who loves to travel, basking a kiss of heaven, self-made, multi-tasker, loves RDJ (who doesn't?) and ultimately a firm believer of the Sought-After!

Birth-Month

on March 1, 2013
yeah, it's me!

yeah, it’s me!

 

It’s half past 2 am and the idea of writing just kicked in (in the middle of an unadulterated sleep!). Call it crazy but I can’t stop and do it some other time thingy. The need to put this through is a must, a contemplation that needs rest in as much as it renders true peace deep within. I am not convincing myself as far as I am fully aware of the time (needless to say the assignments been nagging: “what about me?”), but brain waves’ level consumes me, so inscribe I must. I know, it’s just the 1st of March! Shall I carry on? Shush, everyone is sleeping soundly.

Yay! It’s my birth month (okay, almost) and the thrill (totally delighted) to finally be 32 is really nerve rocking! There is something about this age that brings clearer thought on things – ME, a living creature that seems to see God-dreams came to pass. You see, when I was in my 20’s, I have some giddy philosophy reaching the much anticipated year (32). I know for some certain reasons, 32 is something. Now, that something is not just pleasing or plain lashings of sweet start overs, because heck no, please don’t consider the fact that 20’s wasn’t doing me oh so good, the point is, 30’s simply why 20’s rocked! Back then, one can know why I was so fragile, skinny, always in thought, idealist, well-mannered, naïve, afraid, living in comfort, dives in subtle happiness, I didn’t have margin of errors, immaculately weird, serious (hey, everyone does, but mine’s really uncontrolled! I sweat most of the stuffs, THERE!), fun was defined differently. Simply put – breathing in a box. Sure, I was travelling. I had fun on things in a massive way. I’ve enjoyed sceneries beyond imagination. I’ve LOVED, really loved. I’ve seek answers that lingers most often. But I was limited – in thoughts, words (okay, count the what?) and deeds. The need of fresh air was highly significant, hence catapults me into where I am NOW. The journey is priceless. But the need of pain is directly proportional as well. I would’ve realized such biggie dreams without the tremendous pain I have been through (gosh, I am not writing about pain, just saying!). I have such great dreams written in my heart, it’s just that, I never had the time to figure it out because of the word comfort. I was soothingly surviving in my nook. A thing I am defo afraid if I walk on waters, a matter I am surely scared to traverse. But a still small voice nudged me. At 29, I created my bucket/dirt list (sure do, I have a list back then, it was nothing but absolute flattery (for flattery is beneath me now). I totally scream when it reached 101, thus the title 101 dreams! And the amazing part? I made it less than a day! My heart has ached for such a long period of time to just sit down and have the courage to write it. After all, courage was not a friend that time (I am oblivious of the fact that courage has been courting me all throughout the years!). 3 years have gone by and when I checked my dirt list, a wave of relief washed over me. I mean, not all but MOST of them? Ticked off! The pang of child birth is still on though, so I’m good! Hahahaha. So, what am I really telling you? Aside from the fact that I just spilled highly classified info (my age that is!), not for me to get a month advance greetings, but persuaded that 32 will prove me just right (my intuition and what my heart truly beats!). I have longed for you 32, I’d be more than willing to fit you into me. I am counting the days ‘til I met you, 32! Only then my cup of joy is filled, mostly on thoughts of you!

My partner seem to be jealous, I need to sneak in (it’s half past 4am and the need to hit the sheets is breaking in.) oh, my partner? BED and a very comfy duvet! Goodnight. Sweetest of dreams!

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2 responses to “Birth-Month

  1. HATA BABEH says:

    advance happy birthday kiamoy!!!!mwah…

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