bein aimy

lifestyle guru-wannabe, a fierce woman who is after her dreams – living it out, who loves to travel, basking a kiss of heaven, self-made, multi-tasker, loves RDJ (who doesn't?) and ultimately a firm believer of the Sought-After!

Beautiful MESS

on April 3, 2013

As 32 is looming (really excited) and words won’t count how grateful I am for EVERYTHING, I’ll start by saying that in life there are things meant not to be beautiful in the surface (rough-ugly kinda thingy). But that what makes life really beautiful! Here’s some of the “not so beautiful in me” things: (this is just one of the many, really) 😉

1.)    The exactness of things are sometimes measured in terms of birth month and since I’m in no way put-up kid when I was little, (weird that all my childhood friends went normally capable of being in nursery at the age of 4, I was caught in the middle of nowhere since then) due to my age being “not so beautiful” I skipped kindergarten, I was kinda half and half age. So what happened to grades 1, 2 and 3? Visitor! Smart? No, not really. Visitor means cleaning the mess, simply put – blackboard, eraser, and toilet even if I’m not the assigned cleaner of the day! But since I was attending school religiously, my teacher merited me but the downside? READING. Sure, I know what words are but I haven’t had much of  what others are into, in my mind I was just playing in the classroom, let alone, sing (yeah, since then, they’ve been asking me to sing any song, I should be a great performer because of such experience). But the drag of things didn’t come handy when I reached 5th grade! Though I was not bullied not being able to read well, my Mom took it upon herself to discipline me, hence I had to spend summer practicing reading with my oh-so-good-to-perfection-teacher a.k.a my mom! She has to put up every single chore in advance so we can have reading and comprehension type of bonding! Wow, imagine all my friends playing outside and I was tortured with reading plus writing paragraphs! Not to make mention the lengthy vocabulary, comprehension and using it in a sentence! Talking about sheer-unadulterated time with one of my fave subjects – English! But that ugly mess made me who I am today. I vividly remember when I was in high school I wouldn’t leave the house without a 5 new found friends also called fresh words! Well, I wrote it in a piece of paper and later on, use it in a sentence. My love for words went beyond years that I instantly fell in love with books. I even wrote little nothings in tissue papers even in news papers when random thoughts came flushing in (hey, I can’t put it on hold).  That said, when I was 18, I started my journal and had this intimate relationship that is still pretty much going on til this day! I have this huge box at home where I put all my knick knacks in! The ugly mess was in truth a fuel for me to work on with the help of my number one fan – Mom!

So the simple truth? Ugly mess can turn into beauty only if you let things happen. Under the crucible of what seems to be grueling and painful or even tiring, you let life squeeze out the very best in you. As coined by someone wise, “Pain brought about by such intense love makes sacrifice sacred.”

I’ll soon add another “ugly thing”, including boys (oh, that’s a what?) hahahaha. Tarah for now! I leave you with this song by Gungor!

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