bein aimy

lifestyle guru-wannabe, a fierce woman who is after her dreams – living it out, who loves to travel, basking a kiss of heaven, self-made, multi-tasker, loves RDJ (who doesn't?) and ultimately a firm believer of the Sought-After!

Gone South for the Orange-kinda-thingy! (I mean, Orange – the new tan!)

Hey, I’m not going to talk about  love, not now. Let’s save that later! What I’m furiously edgy about? ORANGE!!!

Being the beach-y type, I reckon the day I can freely swim minus the glaring heat of the sun! But as I’ve realized, Sun can never hurt you not unless you let it!

So, going down South was the natural thing like ABC or 1,2,3! But to say the long ride and glitches here and there is joyful, I have learned to be grateful! You can never appreciate the destination without having to enjoy the journey!

Time to spill some beans! On our way to Cornwall, I happened to meet a guy – well, accidentally. I was seating next to him, a thing I can never changed. The thought of sleep hovered me since 7 hours drive is daunting and as soon as I force to close my eyes, my seatmate just blurted, “I do apologise for the inconvenience I may cause you, but can I just pop in my bag in the cabin?” To lessen the guilt, he then invited me to watch a movie with his MacAir, he even asked me what do I fancy to watch. To my mind, I just want a nice sleep – uninterrupted. As I was about to say No, he asked if ‘Olympus has fallen’ is a must-watch, I simply said, ‘have it a go!’ And came the unnerving part that we need to share earphones plus the fact that I need to hold the other end of his Mac! Talking about rest, indeed! To forgive him of his demeanor in whisking myself to dreamland, I agreed and I hate to be rude. I managed to watch for 30mins said my thank yous when toilet pangs hit everyone including myself. To Matt – thank you for sharing your lappy with me! I only got to sleep for an hour or so since other Pinoys are inviting us for a drink (seriously? Inside the coach?)

Going back to what my heart skips a beat…

I sorely missed the mighty voice of ocean waves, soft birds singing in the morning and even the smell of heat plus the fact that I badly craved for the sand that comfort my feet telling me ‘I am home’! Forgive the ever-so-romantic-part-in-me but I can’t help it, I love the beach! And so soaking in the warmth of the sun wasn’t bad after all! Living here, you’re going to pray that the sun will eventually come out as soon as you wake up so getting Orange-y is a feeling of me being home at long last!

how can you say no to that?

how can you say no to that?

I'm wearing the smile you gave!!

I’m wearing the smile you gave!!

breathtakingly awesome!

breathtakingly awesome!

You have bewitched me - body and soul!

You have bewitched me – body and soul!

living life to the fullest!

living life to the fullest!

...take me to the beach, will you?

…take me to the beach, will you?

O.O. Officially Oranged!

O.O. Officially Oranged!

fully persuaded!

fully persuaded!

the house by the sea

the house by the sea

floored by ocean's wave of goodbye!

floored by ocean’s wave of goodbye!

Newquay, I have deeply fallen for you! ❤

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7 year itch

the art of saying goodbye is leaving without regrets

the art of saying goodbye is leaving without regrets

 

I am not referring to a marital relationship that seems to have another meaning (infidelity). I am (in all honesty) in reference to a gap. A space that would defo bridge what had happened in the past. It could also mean a cycle called mess I was in. 7 long years. Was it worth it? Deep in my heart a resounding YES is the answer! Did I really move on? In my best effort, yes, well it wasn’t until I was presented by a thought so provoking that I begun to ask myself certain questions. I was eagerly waiting to watch “see girl run”, the trailer did something that needs further analysis on my part (no, I am not writing a movie rev just yet because the truth of the matter is, the point I am hoping to address is much more important than the movie, though I can say, the movie’s main objective – that is for me to realize something larger than life, an answer I was waiting for 7 years put in a much creative way).

How do you break up with someone who is not even responding? Will you just go ahead, forget the past and have it a go? Or will you try countless of times until you no longer need to fill in the void? Or in my case, I left an open wound, a fresh scar that further needs tending.

“The most obvious important realities are often the ones that are hardest to see and talk about.” – David Foster Wallace

Was I living a quasi-moving on life? Not really, but this I know – an unfathomable missing piece I was in search of was in a place called nowhere (finding nowhere is the most difficult of all since address and name of the place will never get you done, you’re left even without clue).

How could one define moving on without being deprived of the truth one so deserved? Sometimes you learn not to fight over things, because you know BEST things come after it.

Is holding on an appropriate way to justify and merit such actions? I believed it does.  If in the event of how things fall into its proper place, you can’t question or even demand for things in your favor, because pain will never be sacred. By pain, I mean, you will never try to grow (leave your comfort zone, walk on waters), stretch who you are (character), be with yourself (you know what you want in life, no one’s going to dictate you), define you (you can’t pull off another individual just to be liked or loved), laugh until you cry (where you don’t create life dramas and I think it comes in age, too), trust and believe again (even when it’s the hardest thing of all, you just do it), and eventually – let your heart beat again (learn to love again). I believe divine delays are venerable. I am just way too happy; my middle name is spelled PATIENCE. I mean, 7 years is SEVEN YEARS.

 

sarah kay

sarah kay

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Beautiful MESS (BOYS Edition)

from tumblr

from tumblr

As promised! But before zooming into the meat of this account, let me first share a TGIF-slightly-feel-good-movie-line from “Waiting for forever” (Will’s letter to Emma):

Dear Emma,

Those two words “Dear Emma” take me away to another time when we used to write to each other after Mom and Dad died. I used to tell you about my new friends and my new life. And you used to tell me about the grand time my mom and dad were having in heaven.

Truth is nothing. What you believe to be true is everything. And the main thing that I used to believe was that I would be with you forever. Forever. The reason it has taken me so long to write to you is that I see that I have been a fool. I’ve spent my life fooling myself.

Every letter I’ve ever written to you has been a love letter. How could they have been anything else? I can see now that all of them except this one were bad love letters. Bad love letters beg for love back. Good love letters ask for nothing. This, I’m pleased to announce is my first good love letter to you because there is nothing more for you to do. You’ve already done everything. I have enough of you in my head to last forever. So please don’t ever worry about me. I’m peachy. I really am. I have everything.

If I had one wish it would be that your life brings you a taste of the happiness you have brought to me. That you can feel what it’s like to love.

Your friend forever,

Will

Why the letter? Okay, when I was in nursery (I assume) I was bullied by a Turkish boy who loves to steal all my well-sharpened pencils! He never wants me to write or at least wants me to hold any of my pencil that is! He makes sure that he grabs my pencil case and to my surprise left me nothing but a black crayola (now, who does want to use a crayola?). My Mother would scold me whenever she opened the case and viola – all of my pencils were nowhere to be found! I can’t fully explain to her since I myself could not understand why this certain boy would do such a thing to me! Needless to say that whenever recess is up next, he’ll offer me something to munch, the nerve! But clueless to a thought or even two, I was not pleased with the behavior at all. Mondays were such a dragged that I hate going to school. I had to put up with “sickness syndrome” just for me to have a legit excuse! School is cool? Yeah, thought so, but that “ugly” part I was in? Total turn off! And the least good thing to be in was to seat beside this Turkish boy! That’s when I realized I “hate” boys! So hating would somehow stop me from mingling with such complex creature but it didn’t, in grade school it got worse! School days was referred to as “exile days” as it seems to wreck havoc (on any given day), okay, I’ll spell it for you: I love to sing and when Music is up next, I literally wanted to scream (thus by far the best time of the day or so I thought!) but each time my classmates would demand that I render them a playlist of songs and sing it out loud, I could not remember if there was a single time I said no since grades and singing were almost synonymous! And that was the problem! Boys would just go out and get “flowers” in the garden and hand it over to me! I reckoned speechless given that malice and I haven’t met at a very young age. Lame excuse? I always hide inside the toilet! It was way too “ugly” for me not to have a single decent conversation with boys. I got stuck in the rut! I never had the chance to face it squarely which haunted me dearly for years, the thought kills me! But the mess turned out to be one of the BEST parts of my life. I had to accept I am not an island thus living with another complex-creature is a must. I had to be broken to see the beauty in it (relationship). I was way too sheltered away from boys that they are indeed amazing beings! The fear of getting to know them even more sprung from childhood that gave way till I was a teeny. The nightmare that beckons me all throughout the years were just a pile of lies making a delusion of the deem truth. I had to undergo repetitive not so good cycles that touch the very core of me (I won’t claim I know better now) but I can boldly say I know myself MORE than ever. I am the BEST ME – even when I am surrounded in a room full of boys (matured ones).

Going back to the attached letter, I know it takes a lot of courage to say the most important things in life and so does a man needs to tell you how he truly feels… Don’t worry, this time I promise I won’t run away and hide. I honor a man who takes slim chance of his entire lifetime, risk everything and drive home his point.

I leave you with this song from the movie: Waiting for forever

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Merida the Brave finally meets the thousand old – Oxford!

My feet’s been itching to land to a place where cool and smart can defo live together. As such, when you happen to see Oxford you can tell that it exist (the cool and smart combo!). A no brainer would sell the place out to be sure! Plus you’ll suddenly feel cool and smart once you hit the crowd! It’s absolutely contagious minus the sum of quid you ought to pay for a term! Worth a visit!

So, Merida decided to visit Oxford! Mind you, she got the hair done and do add up the pack of awesome goofiness/harlem shakers! Sorry, I can’t include the latter (Harlem Shake vid) due to some highly classified infos, am, no. Not the one in your mind (pretty wholesome and really organic) but I can’t post it for the sake of public consumption, hahahaha.

Oxford’s famous not because of nerd-ness or some flashy-intelligent-stude sorta thingy, NO, it’s the way how learning is passed on in a different level. Sure papers are endless, non-stop research and the many other things but that’s a given – it’s Oxford! It’s beyond the name, it’s the people working so hard to play the game well and not choosing to be a mediocre for the rest of their lifetime. It’s like Merida, she is no fool to conquer anything even if what she feared the most is right in front of her, hence she braved EVERYTHING.

Here’s a glimpse of Oxford in the eyes of the brave Merida (opps, that’s me a.k.a curly hair)

thousand old building

thousand old building

03

one of the many libraries!

where bicycles the main transport

where bicycles the main transport

01

threesome

02

foursome

10

curly me!!!

kewl-foursome

kewl-foursome

having a sunny disposition!

having a sunny disposition!

  “There are those who say fate is something beyond our command. That destiny is not our own, but I know better. Our fate lives within us, you only have to be brave enough to see it. ” – Merida

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To the three men I had less than three…

As V-day is looming and seems it is in no way possible stoppable (to those single and are hoping to have a special someone) and to those who are with love (with other half, families and friends) here’s an epic 3 in 1 (just like coffee) short stories (hope to) exceed the level of epic-ness!

1: The road less travelled

road

One of Robert Frost’s infamous poem! Not really, once upon a time, ladidi, ladada… serious now. I have had a great encounter with the road itself. It was in absolute surrender under love’s mighty spell. I thought answering love on a different tune would stop but love deemed songs that are pregnant with meaning (I mean, beyond friendship). Let’s define why I coined the first as such; I call it the road less travelled because we opted to choose the other road. As Robert Frost’s say:

“I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.”

No, the only difference NOW is that I don’t (won’t) sigh over something that gave me the reason to smile about. When I was a kiddo, I often think that love is letting go – if it’s breaking you that is. I further thought, it is much easier to give up for once than holding on for good. I have always vowed to make the other person happy – however the price maybe. I am ever willing to pay the said price – even my life. I said NO for seven times when he proposed. Why? Dreams. Happiness. Beliefs. So I chose to be a friend – the kind that sticks ‘til the end type. Happiness for me is sleeping comfortably with peace in my heart. We took the other road, went separately and leaving no stone unturned.

2: Letters to Juliet

letter

The second’s kind of interesting – really. All are on a lookout for “ONE TRUE LOVE”, tell me who doesn’t? Fresh from a heart break, a jumped (head on) to another relationship (yeah, you bet! Call me crazy! Who’s not crazy when love appears right in front of you? NOW tell me!). Well, I gave credit to the man who DID IT WELL. Letters, flowers, dinners, movie dates, surprises (like when he wasn’t even invited and then – boom! There he was with flowers and all!). In short, I was smothered with much love. But love has its own call – the one that creeps in when you least expect and must be answered soonest. From an excerpt of the movie Letters to Juliet:

Dear Claire,

“What” and “If” are two words as non-threatening as words can be. But put them together side-by-side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life: What if? What if? What if? I don’t know how your story ended but if what you felt then was true love, then it’s never too late. If it was true then, why wouldn’t it be true now? You need only the courage to follow your heart. I don’t know what a love like Juliet’s feels like – love to leave loved ones for, love to cross oceans for but I’d like to believe if I ever were to feel it, that I will have the courage to seize it. And, Claire, if you didn’t, I hope one day that you will.

All my love,

Juliet

One day after more than a decade, he answered the long time call – he went back to the flock. To his ONE TRUE LOVE, this time he knows exactly what LOVE is. Bitter-sweet? No. I gave up this time because; I love the One up there more than my life! Knowing that I led the man back to Him is the greatest expression of love.

3: Better (NOT TO BE) Together

slippers

Third’s? Like no other. I had a really thing with cycle (it’s like my relationship with the latter is much stronger than my formers!). We were great friends! Not to make mention the connection (beach, reading, lighthouses, travel, food) – but that’s it. I choose period, no commas. Why? Because in reality, words can’t replace holding the other’s hand – I was thousand miles away from him. And connection remains memories, just a record of smiles and laughter. This time, I did not give up – that’s off the record (even when Altar date was made!). But distance is such a hard game to play, added time difference (double whammy? Oh, lemons!). It was not meant to be. From Jack Johnson’s song – Better Together:

Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it’s so hard?
It’s not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I’ll tell you one thing, it’s always better when we’re together

He is happily married now. We all are happy. I can’t blame love. Not with the three. Had the best time ever! I have fought, learned, known, conquered, and chased WHO I AM.  And all because my heart beats again…

P.S. I’ll post a letter on V-day!

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Cinderella’s Castle

I love fairy tale stories. As such, Cinderella is one of them. Who doesn’t want to end up with Knight and shining armor a.k.a Prince Charming? I know everyone does! This post however is not another love story so to speak but where love blossom and made real ( I know for sure because V-day is just around the corner, will post love stories SOON, yay).

WHERE is a place or scene of something. Of meeting, exchanging glances, stroke of luck, a happy coincidence, a random chance, an unplanned accident. Incurably romantic? How about this: “Suddenly he stops. He looks up. For, lo, there she stands. The girl of his dreams. Who she is or whence she came, he knows not, nor does he care for his heart tells him that here, here is the maid predestined to be his bride.” – Walt Disney

Schloss Neuschwanstein or famously known as Cinderella’s Castle in Bavaria, Germany is a sight to behold. Disney carefully choose landmarks and thus Schloss Nueschwanstein was chosen as an inspiration to draft the story of Cinderella.

Here are some captured moments, enjoy!!

by the lake

by the lake

at the ledge

at the ledge

me, my cousin Ana with her princess - Sam

me, my cousin Ana with her princess – Sam

cousin Ana, her hubby Vincent and Sam

cousin Ana, her hubby Vincent and Sam

the Castle!

the Castle!

open the gate!

open the gate!

snowball fight!

snowball fight!

one shoe can change your life - Cinderella

one shoe can change your life – Cinderella

enjoying a snowball fight

enjoying a snowball fight

and so the story begins...

and so the story begins…

P.S: I left the other shoe 😉

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I kissed happiness

I am down for a week with – movies! I am by character a sucker of “movie lines”. It has been in safe keeping since time in memorial. And since I was gladly introduced with Movies, I am for certain reasons knew and memorize some sickly-sweet lines (of which I will share! Oh yeah, talk about sheer fondness!) I will insert (in as much as you like, I will!) how did each movies fly (that’s just according to me, feels like I’m doing another assignment but don’t get it from me though, the best review is always based on YOU.)
On an eve like no other, I was jaded doing nothing. I mean I love doing nothing but every nothing-ness has an apparent clause of meaning and this time it hit rock bottom that suddenly sent an impulse to try out the MOVIES. So googled some films which I haven’t seen and thought to end my day scribbling some lines. And here’s one of the many movies that made my oh-so-bland-nights! I was half teasing myself all the way through it, challenging to hold back tears and play unaffected but soon defeated by such tender emotions flooding in (in short, I was again floored! Oh good heavens!) 😉

No, I am not writing about movie reviews (because apparently I am no good at – I will however point out the best bits of the film!) grab some popcorn, will ya? (I happen to like popcorn with M&M’s chocolate! Weird but a must try!) thus, this entry is largely about what makes me happy!

Only you

This film is kinda vintage, year? 1994. But I couldn’t bypass it. Why? Robert. Downey. Jr. Well, I will always find his wit very alluring! (even before Iron Man and Ally Mcbeal, yeah I know he deserves better – a single post wholly devoted to him!) And Marisa Tomei! How could I miss it by chance, NO WAY! If you hate romantic comedies, skip this (I mean destiny thing? Yeah, read the next if you may).

OVERVIEW: Only You according to Mark Deming (n.d.) is “A woman throws caution to the wind in the pursuit of the man of her dreams — whom she’s never met — in this romantic comedy. Eleven-year-old Faith and her cousin Kate are playing with a Ouiji Board when Faith asks who she will marry — the magic oracle answers “DAMON BRADLEY,” and Faith is convinced that she will one day meet this ideal love. Fifteen years later, Faith (Marisa Tomei) has yet to meet her perfect man and has settled for Dwayne (John Benjamin Hickey), a sweet but boring foot doctor whom she’s engaged to marry, with Kate (Bonnie Hunt) helping her plan the festivities. The day before the ceremony, Faith gets a call from one of the groom’s friends, who won’t be able to attend because he’s travelling to Italy instead — and his name is Damon Bradley. Convinced that fate is trying to tell her something, Faith hops on the next flight to Venice, where she searches for the elusive Damon, and along the way meets the charming Peter Wright (Robert Downey, Jr.).” (I truly am making an assignment with full Harvard Referencing! Huh!)

In hindsight, I firmly believe that everything happens FOR you, not to you. That being said, every circumstance that led you into another is and therefore will tap you to your destiny. But destiny is still a matter of choice. In the film, Faith still has to choose between the real Damon and RDJ. The real Damon that she’s been waiting for her entire life (I mean calling the wedding off is huge enough, right?) and RDJ (who purposely name himself Damon Bradley just so he can keep close to the woman who stole his heart at first glance – he lied to keep her not only once but twice!) and since then have been so busy knocking her feet off! (add witty lines and bickering!)

RDJ: I can’t believe you’re gonna let a few little letters of the alphabet keep us apart. It is a detail! Just – look, just call me Damon, okay? It’ll be like a nickname.

Don’t let the love of your life slip through your fingers in an Italian airport or are you willing to take the risk all for the sake of love… it’s your destiny, make it happen!

Next picture? Life or something like it, A thousand words, The magic of belle isle

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